


Come Sweet Death: Noir et Blanc

by Whoknows138



Series: CSD Universe [2]
Category: The Hollow (Cartoon)
Genre: Adam is also doing his best, Attempted Murder, Kai is still insane but he's gettin there, Medication, Mira kind of isn't ok, Multi, Murder, Nightmares, Reeve is doing better and is supportive as hell, Sexual Content, Skeet is doing his best, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Therapy, Triggers, Vanessa is baby, You thought they were all gonna be just fine after that eh?, n a h son
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:27:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28063173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoknows138/pseuds/Whoknows138
Summary: Healing is a slow, slow process.Sometimes the past repeats itself. It buds its head in small ways.(A collection of One-shots in the Come Sweet Death/CSD universe. Half taking place before the events of the fanfic/during the events of the fanfic in other character's point of view, and half taking place after the events of the fanfic.)
Relationships: Adam/Kai (The Hollow), Kai/Reeve (The Hollow), Kai/Skeet (The Hollow), Kai/Vanessa (The Hollow), Mira/Skeet (The Hollow)
Series: CSD Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034589
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	1. Flashbacks: Noir

**Author's Note:**

> No one asked for this. But it's here anyways.
> 
> These chapters will be relatively short, sometimes longer.
> 
> Figured I give y'all a gift before I work on that season 2 sequel-
> 
> DISCLAIMER FOR NEWCOMERS: YOU SHOULD PROBABLY READ "COME SWEET DEATH" FIRST. These one-shots won't make any sense otherwise

“Kai, _there_ you are!”

Adam’s call for attention startled Kai out of his slow decent to panic. He lifted himself from the pile of space junk he had clung onto, and steadied his breathing.

The desert air scorched his lungs, and the memory, the memory of his beheading floated freshly in his mind.

Mira hadn’t come in time to cure Mr. Jeepers, to save him and Adam. What if she didn’t come with the cure for Mr. Jeepers this time as well?

Will Death slash his neck apart once more?

Kai didn’t want that!

_He didn’t want to do any of this anymore!_

Every murder he had witnessed, every death he had experienced. They clenched his heart and made him want to scream.

…He hid all of these emotions the best he could, as Adam sprint up to him, with worry filling his eyes.

“Death says we have 5 more minutes.” Adam gave his news to the already disturbed red-head, who was now filled with more dread. Adam, noticing this, tried to reach out for Kai’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry! I’m sure Mira will come back soon-“

“No she won’t!” Kai hissed out, jerking his shoulder and stepping away from Adam, clinging onto himself as his ragged breathing increased. “We’re fucked! We’re doomed! We’re gonna die!”

“Kai of course we won’t!” Adam tried to reason with the pessimistic Kai, to no avail it seemed. Regardless he continued to try. “Listen, if we only have one minute left you and I will try to escape this place. We’ll be ok-“

 **“NO WE FUCKING WON’T!”** Adam was a goddamn idiot! Kai had tried to escape the horsemen before. Not exactly the best idea, considering they were _horsemen_. “Adam we’re done for! Mira is likely dead and we’re minutes away from getting our heads cut off!”

 **“And how do you know for sure?!”** Adam challenged; getting pissed off by Kai’s attitude.

…

“… _I just know_.” Kai answered, a hint of darkness in his eyes that Adam couldn’t fully understand; couldn’t comprehend.

“…Kai…Kai…are you ok?” Adam cautiously asked, much to Kai’s annoyance. “I’m fine.” The red-head answered. He really wasn’t. He was scared, so fucking scared. He didn’t want to die again. He’s tired of dying.

“Kai don’t lie to me.” Adam pushed “…Is there…something you’re not telling me?” He placed his hand on Kai’s shoulde-

**_Torn intestines. Chunks of flesh. Demented howling. A fiery pain._ **

**It hurts!**

**It hurts!**

**Make it stop!**

_…It stopped._

Kai stared down at the switchblade he had stolen from the forest shack, now in his hands and drenched in blood.

Adam clutched onto his stomach and whimpered as his life poured to the floor in red; he curled up in a fetal position as the broken ribs and stomach wound filled his nerves with pain.

…

_Oh god._

“…A-Adam…Adam I’m so-“

Kai silenced himself, as Adam coughed out a chunk of blood. He slowly backed away.

He did this.

He hurt his friend.

_…He’s dangerous._

…And so he ran.

He ran as fast as he could; out of that junkyard. Into the desert.

But it was to no avail. Death and his horseman pinned him to the ground, pulled him by his head, and prepared to pass their judgement.

Kai clenched his teeth as he felt his neck completely tear apart from his body. As the scythe flew past him, and his vision went black.

“…Hey, Kai!”

Kai raised his eyes from the ground, towards Adam and Mira, who were a few feet ahead of him. The trio traversed through the forest, two off them unfamiliar with their surroundings.

“Try to catch up will you!” Mira urged, her eyes laced with worry, as she glanced at the equally confused Adam, and then back at the surprised Kai.

“…Don’t worry! I am!” Kai answered, keeping his distance from his two friends.

It’s better like this, to keep his distance. At least for now.

Staring at Adam’s back, he wished he could express his full sincerity.

_…God…he’s so sorry Adam._


	2. Flashbacks: Blanc

Tongue clashing against tongue. Muffled moans against a pillow. A discarded monopoly board on the floor.

Reeve had to use most of his willpower to stop himself, to not go any further. His gasps for breath, as he pinned Kai against their bed filled their bedroom…or well, Kai’s bedroom. Reeve still slept on the couch, mostly to prevent situations like _this_.

“…Aren’t you going to keep going?” Kai almost pleaded, rubbing his knee against Reeve’s strained crotch. The no-longer-telekinetic shook his head, and rolled off of his partner. He emitted a loud sigh, and tried to calm himself…it wasn’t working that well.

“…Kai, we talked about this. We even agreed on a date. No sex until your last therapist appointment.” Reeve reasoned, turning his head to stare at the beautiful teen lying next to him. Kai pouted at this news. “…That could be like…a year from now! And I don’t think you cared that much when you suddenly tackled me a few seconds ago~” They stuck their tongue out, that same tongue that used to… _fuck._

“That’s because you provoked me by grabbing my dick so firmly my balls instantly turned blue. You know damn well how to get under my skin! It's getting harder to hold back!”

“Then dooooooon’t!” Kai whined out, rolling on top of Reeve and subtly humping Reeve’s leg, earning a strangled moan out of the guy beneath him. “Come on! Can I at least suck your dick or something? That’s technically not sex!”

Reeve contemplated giving in. He imagined letting Kai lower their mouth towards his _problem_ and sucking his dick like a vacuum cleaner, his cum splattering against their face and dripping down his mouth and _holy shit he’s horny!_

“No.” Reeve finalized, pushing Kai back and firmly seating him on the bed. “How many times do I have to say that you’re not in the right mental state to do anything like this before it finally drills through that thick demented skull of yours. Just because you’re beginning to feel pain and pleasure again doesn’t mean you’re ready.”

Kai puffed his cheeks, and jumped off the bed. He stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

Reeve sighed, and rubbed his forehead, before slowly stuffing his other hand down his pants. This happened once a week. Nothing new. Kai would get pissed and then quickly get over it. Move on to the next thing.

Kai had progressed quite a lot in the span of a few months. He’s getting used to his new life filled with no predictability, and general safety. He was easily excitable with everything, and the slightest action would distract him. His attention span was as tiny as a fish, it was almost cute.

…Although that didn’t mean the past didn’t haunt Kai anymore.

Reeve sighed as semen drenched his hand, and he attempted to wipe the blush off his face. _Jesus ch-_

**_“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”_ **

Reeve was hyper alert. Instinctively, he jumped off the bed to check the meds lying in one of the drawers of Kai’s nightstand, sectioned for each day and night.

Yesterday’s meds were still there. The meds Kai had to take every single day and night. The meds Reeve had to give to Kai because they couldn’t be trusted to take the meds themselves.

_He forgot to give Kai his meds again._

_Fuck!_

Reeve slammed his body against the bedroom door, and sprinted to the kitchen, where he heard the scream.

Kai shook like a leaf, his face contoured with fury and fear as he defensively held a kitchen knife in his hand, backing up against the counters.

The moment Kai noticed Reeve by the doorway, he turned towards his partner and bit his lip, pointing the knife at them and glaring at them with nonrecognition. **“FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING WITCH BITCH!”**

Reeve slowly raised his hands up, immediately understanding the situation. “…Kai…it’s me-“

**“I CAN KILL YOU SLUTS ONCE AND I CAN KILL YOU AGAIN-“**

“It’s me, Reeve, The witches aren’t here-“

Kai began to sob hysterically, as Reeve inched closer and closer toward him. _“ **F-fuck off!** **Please…!** I-I don’t want my soul to get sucked again p-please-“_

Reeve stared at the knife in Kai’s vibrating hands, and slowly lowered himself to the ground. He sat there, and began to hum softly.

Kai’s shaking ceased, and he slowly widened his eyes as he recognized that tune. No longer was he in The Hollow, in front of three green skinned witches. He was in his old butler’s kitchen, in front of a calmly humming Reeve.

He dropped the knife to the floor, and collapsed on his knees. Reeve took that as his que and quickly crawled toward the red-head, enveloping him in a tight hug and whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

“…Why was I scared?” Kai muttered as he buried his face into Reeve’s chest, tears dripping down his face. “ _I shouldn’t have been scared. The witch’s weren’t the scariest thing in that place I_ -“

“You hadn’t seen them in a long time, right? Of course you’d be scared…” Reeve reassured the boy in his arms, scratching their head comfortingly. “It’s ok to be scared.” He whispered, softly pecking their forehead.

The two teens sat on the kitchen floor in silence. Holding onto each other, clinging onto each other’s warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, at least they ain't in the game anymore! ^v^


	3. Mistakes: Noir

“…Hey Kai! You doing alright?”

“…”

A supposedly concerned Vanessa sat next to the silent, exhausted red-head sitting on the edge of an icy cliff. The cold wind blew against both of their cheeks, and a strange ice castle rested at a distance. Their target.

“…Listen, I’ve…” Vanessa trailed off. She wasn’t necessarily the best at counseling people. But she would try her best…even if, in the end, she was using him. “I’ve noticed how…quiet you’ve been lately.” She placed her hand on Kai’s cold, lonely hand-

Kai jerked the said hand away, and clung onto it. Cradled it like it had been burned, like it had been injured for a long while, and wasn’t going to be healed any time soon. He winced a bit, and glanced at Vanessa; noticing her confused frown. “I-I…I’m fine.” Kai strained out, curling further into a protective ball, and ignoring the sharp pains surrounding his entire, previously marked body. “I’m fine.”

“You’re obviously not.” Reasoned Vanessa, who crossed her arms over her chest. She was getting frustrated with Kai’s behavior, but deep down she knew that Kai was only acting like this because he didn’t know it was all a game, this situation they were in. He didn’t know any better, and so she pitied him. “Spill the beans! Come on! We’re friends now!”

Kai lifted his face from his knees, and gazed at Vanessa’s comforting smile. For a brief moment, he thought he could hear the girl’s screams of pain again. Hear her beg for mercy as the icicle that impaled her drained the life away from her body.

…Never again.

He never wanted to hear those screams from Vanessa, ever again. Because…well…Kai loved Vanessa.

Or at least, he thinks he does. He’s pretty sure! Vanessa had been nothing but kind, caring, and supportive ever since he met her in this hellscape of a world. He wanted nothing more than to be by her side. She…was the only one he felt that understood his pain on a deeper level.

“…Promise me…That you’ll be careful.” Kai pleaded quietly, catching Vanessa off guard by the sheer emotion behind that request, as he strained a smile for the flyer. “That you…that you won’t get too reckless, and that you’ll keep an eye out for any threats. Your kind of the leader of this group, we need your guidance.” Kai placed his palm on Vanessa’s hand, and clutched it tightly, earning a small gasp from Vanessa. The red-head giggled awkwardly, and wiped a few tears off his cheeks. “I especially need your guidance Vanessa. Without you I…”

…

Vanessa squeezed Kai’s hand in return, and smiled endearingly at him. “Of course, I’ll be careful. Who knows what’s out there in this freaky place that wants to kill us! Besides.” She muttered, internally sighing as she scooted closer towards the pyrokinetic. God, even if this was all a means to an end, to win The Hollow, she felt bad for taking advantage of this kid. “I’d never want to leave you alone in a place like this…If anything, I feel like your presence has helped me as well…you’re cute Kai.” She giggled, seeing Kai’s face flush a bright red. “Very cute!”

Kai’s smile appeared more genuine, as he suddenly enveloped Vanessa in a tight hug. The flyer returned it after a moment of hesitance, and the two lovebirds cuddled to the dawn of a new day.

When Vanessa dozed off in Kai’s arms, it was only then that his smile, although indeed genuine, faltered ever so slightly.

She isn’t going to be careful. 

She never is.

_Liar._

“…Kai…uh…you ok?”

Silence.

The scene was the same. Vanessa behind Kai, as the red-head sat on the edge of an icy cliff, staring intently at the ice castle.

This time, Kai’s eyes were completely unfocused, and his neutral frown was devoid of emotion. He ignored _that girl’s_ call for attention. Didn’t even acknowledge her presence.

“…Listen…uh…I know we started off at the wrong foot but…I’m worried about you.” Vanessa began. The kid’s behavior was confusing Vanessa beyond belief. This wasn’t the same boy she met earlier before the game started. This Kai was so…distant with her. Especially her. It almost kind of pissed her off. As far as she knew, she did nothing to this guy!

Silence.

“…Kai. Please speak to us. We can’t work as a team unless we…y’know…communicate!” Vanessa urged, stepping closer to Kai, who made no motion that signaled he even knew of Vanessa’s existence. “We’re all concerned. Skeet’s concern. Reeve’s concerned…yeah, I know, shocker. I especially am concerned…and I know that doesn’t mean anything to you since you seem to dislike me the most…but…”

Vanessa trailed off for a moment, and sighed, before crouching down, and cautiously placing her hand on Kai’s shoulder. “I can see the good in you. The potential unlike the others. I see the bits of you that slip out, and based on what I’ve seen so far I…honestly think you’re pretty cool. We all do Kai. So please, talk to us…We’re here for you.” Vanessa displayed her best friendly smile, filled with hope that Kai would snap out of this weird rut if only for a moment, to cooperate with her and her team, and help them win the game.

…

Kai slowly turned his head, his cold stare piercing into Vanessa’s soul. She shivered in shock at the grief filled eyes she was graced with.

Kai closed his eyes. Vanessa’s cocky smirk, as she dropped Kai down to the snowy ground below, and gloated in her betrayal. Those events that happened only a loop ago played over and over again in Kai’s mind.

With a croaking voice of heartbreak, Kai inhaled, opened his eyes, and replied with one word only.

“ ** _…Liar._** ”


	4. Mistakes: Blanc

Vanessa loved her new dress!

It was pretty, and frilly, and pink! She looked just like the princess from those storybooks Gus-Gus would read to her before bedtime!

Vanessa liked Gus-Gus! He was kind and always paid attention to her every need. He was there ever since she first woke up in that dull-colored room in “The Hallow.”

Vanessa felt like she had heard of that before, but she couldn’t remember where. She didn’t remember much before she woke up. She only remembered her mommy and daddy.

She liked her new room in Gus-Gus’s house! It was pink just like her dress, and covered in little white wings. She wished mommy and daddy could see the room Gus-Gus painted for her. She hasn’t seen them since she woke up.

Gus-Gus said they were busy…

…

Vanessa was worried that mommy and daddy just didn’t want her anymore.

“Vanessa!”

Vanessa turned away from her mirror, and beheld Gus-Gus, standing by her door-frame. He adjusted his teal scarf, the scarf he wore when he was going out.

“I need to run some errands at The Hollow. Reeve’s going to show up any minute to babysit you so when you hear a doorbell, open the door for him. Can you do that Vanessa?”

Vanessa’s pupils dilated with excitement. Reevie was coming!

She began to jump up and down, nodding her head eagerly as she followed Gus-Gus down the stairs, to the front door of his house. “Yes! Yes I can! I won’t forget this time!”

Gustaf gazed at Vanessa with an endearing…yet also sad expression. It made Vanessa very confused. Did she do something wrong?

Her question would not be answered. Instead, Gustaf gently pet Vanessa’s head. He didn’t need to reach far. Vanessa stood a bit below Gustaf’s chest. “Good girl. You’re growing smarter every day.”

And then Gustaf was off, leaving the 18-year-old lady to her lonesome.

Vanessa quickly got bored of waiting for Reevie after a few seconds. To pass the time, she brought her favorite stuffed animal downstairs, a pastel-colored dragon she had not named yet. Sitting on the couch, she played make believe with her closest friend. The only one who could fully understand her.

When the doorbell rain, she smiled with glee, and sprinted towards the door. Unlatching it took effort, but the effort was worthwhile. There was Reevie, standing right in front of her with his usual friendly smile!

“Reevie!” She giggled out, and tackled her friend into a tight hug. Reeve chuckled at the gesture and pat Vanessa’s back. “Hey! How’s my little princes doing?” He questioned in a high, soft pitched tone. The tone you would use to speak to little children you meet along the side-walk.

Vanessa would have quickly answered that question.

But then she saw the red-headed boy right behind Reeve.

Kai.

…Vanessa was…scared of Kai. The boy had done nothing to hurt her, but his smile unnerved her, and his very existence made her uncomfortable for some reason.

She whimpered as his cloudy eyes pierced into her soul, and she buried her face into Reeve’s chest. Why couldn’t it have just been Reevie?!

Her complaints would mean nothing. She must endure the presence of this friend of Reeve’s.

And endure she did, as Reevie cooked some mac and cheese in the kitchen for the three of them to eat. Kai was on watch duty, observing Vanessa tracing circles along her stuffed dragon’s stomach. Occasionally she would glance at Kai, and seeing his creepy, never ceasing smile, she would quickly look away.

A phone ring was heard in the distance, and Vanessa subtly eavesdropped on the conversation Reeve began to have with...Gus-Gus she thinks? As he stirred the noodles in the pot. “…telling me you finally got in contact with her parents? …do you mean they can’t afford to take care…?! …What kind of irresponsible…?!”

“It’s rude to eavesdrop you know~”

Vanessa jumped at Kai’s sudden accusation, and turned to Kai, who sat on the couch with a chill, yet unnerving smile. “…Then again, I did it too a while ago. I suppose I don’t have much room to talk.”

Vanessa didn’t respond. She continued to stare with wide eyes at the red-head sitting on the couch a ways from her. She wanted to look away. She really wanted to look away. But she couldn’t for some reason.

“…You really don’t remember do you?” Kai began in a softer tone, a tone that surprisingly relaxed Vanessa…and also saddened her on a level she couldn’t fully comprehend. “You don’t remember what you did…what you’ve said…what you’ve seen.” He began picking at his nails, and smile faltering just a bit. “…You hurt me you know. In a way I don’t think I’m ever going to fully forgive…”

Vanessa blinked at these words, and was filled with bewilderment. What was Kai talking about? She knew Kai and Reevie were people she knew before she woke up. Gus-Gus told her. But she didn’t remember anything she did with them beforehand.

…But for some reason…a strange sense of guilt filled her soul…she…felt like she was responsible for the figure in front of her right now. Maybe not completely responsible, but she certainly didn’t help.

“…I’m sorry.”

Kai’s eyes widened at the apology from the young woman sitting on the carpet floor, her hair in girly pigtails and her eyes filled with innocence and naivety.

…Kai let out a soft chuckle, and shook his head. He stood up, much to Vanessa’s surprise, and took a seat on the floor next to Vanessa. “I know. It technically wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known this would happen.” He reassured, petting Vanessa’s black hair. Vanessa enjoyed pets from anyone, Kai was no exception. “I’m just petty, don’t take it too personally.”

The strange lighthearted air that surrounded the two teens in the living room eased Vanessa’s nerves, and she smiled, hugging her dragon tight to her. Kai, out of curiosity, poked the dragon’s horned nose. “What’s its name?” He inquired playfully.

“I don’t know. I’ve been thinking of one for a while now…” Vanessa placed her finger under her chin, and pouted as names surfed through her head. Suddenly, it came to her. A name she couldn’t shake off. A name that sounded so familiar. “I know! Colrath! Sounds pretty huh?!”


	5. Jerk: Noir

There was something about Kai that instantly attracted Adam’s attention, when he first woke up in that bunker.

The red-head was…almost perfect. His hair, his face, his smile, his laugh, his jokes. Everything about Kai was just… _Perfect._

…

_…Almost perfect._

Because deep down…Adam knew something was off.

He knew something was off when he confessed his feelings to Kai, at Benjamin and Benjamini’s theme park; and Kai reciprocated in almost an instant.

He knew something was off as he embraced the frail boy tightly, noting his overly pale skin and bony, twitchy hands.

He knew something was off as he watched the boy’s face while they weren’t aware; noting their dull, tired eyes and the fake smile plastered on their face.

Hell, even before he and Kai officially became a thing, there was something about Kai that was…

… _off_.

He didn’t know how to describe it.

“…Are you ok?” He asked out of nowhere, twirling the Ishibo in his hands as the two traveled through the glitching forest.

Why was just the two of them? Well…Mira…hadn’t made it through the journey. They lost her at the ice castle but…hopefully, when they won this game, they’ll be able to see her again. That was all Adam could do with this entire mess of a situation really, hope for the best; but he’s getting off track.

“Yeah.” Kai replied almost instantly. An automated answer given with what seemed little thought. Kai’s unnaturally deep eye-bags and unhealthy pale skin said otherwise.

“Yeah?” Adam remarked, elbowing his new boyfriend with a pleading gaze. “Come on. Somethings wrong. I can tell. What’s bothering you?” He prodded, much to the red-head’s seeming annoyance.

Kai twisted his head towards Adam, a challenging gaze stripping Adam of half its confidence. “Adam. I _really_ don’t think you want to know the answer to your question. I’d back off if I were you.”

Adam blinked in awe at Kai’s answer. Never had he experienced Kai stand up for himself like that. Adam was impressed and proud of them, sure, but at the same time…that wasn’t the Kai he knew.

It worried him.

“…Kai…I can’t just back off now that I know you’re not ok!” Adam countered, suddenly clutching Kai’s hand tightly, much to Kai’s surprise. The boy was always startled and sometimes…almost uncomfortable by his touches for some reason. He chalked in up to being nervous, considering they hadn’t been together for that long. “Whatever’s freaking you out, you can tell me about it…I mean…if you really don’t want to talk about it I understand but…” Adam cleared his throat. He didn’t want to push Kai to open himself up. If he made them upset, he wouldn’t know what to do. “Just know that I’m here for you…and it’ll all be ok. We’ll be out of this mess soon anyways. We just need to give the Ishibo to that tree and we’ll be out of this game in no time!”

…

At that final remark, Kai twitched ever so slightly. Adam, extra observant of Kai’s body language due to the topic at hand, noticed this and raised an eyebrow in concern.

Kai stared at him for a prolonged period of time, almost like he was contemplating something. The chirping birds and the occasional static noise from the glitches filled the air, and the sun’s brightness cast dark shadows of the trees over the two of them.

…And then slowly, Kai’s contemplative frown morphed into a wide, twisted smile. His eyes were…empty. Broken. Seemingly tired of…everything.

“…I guess it doesn’t matter now…keeping the truth a secret. Since I know I’m not going to leave this hellhole anytime soon.”

Adam didn’t know this person.

This wasn’t Kai! Kai was a dorky, yet kind and understanding guy. He was a bit obnoxious at times, sure, but that was part of his charm! He was amazing he was everything Adam wanted…!

…And he wasn’t this stranger before him.

“You don’t remember this but…you and I’ve met before.” Kai began, much to the distressed Adam’s bafflement. It was only when Kai elaborated further that the true weight of that statement was revealed. “We’ve all played this same exact game before. Over, and over, and over, and over again. You, me, Mira, Vanessa and her team. We’re all doomed to play in this never-ending loop of misery you call “a game.””

…Adam couldn’t believe it.

_…He straight up wouldn’t believe it!_

This _had_ to be some sort of sick joke, right? “…C-c’mon Kai…t-this joke isn’t funny…don’t freak me out like-“

“ _God I wished it was a joke!_ ” Kai exclaimed, as tears began to poor down his cheeks. Despite the waterworks however, his expression was unchanging. It was still a tired, demented smile. “ _D-do you have any idea how many times I’ve seen you and Mira die?! Do you have any idea how many times I’ve died myself!? Do you have any idea how painful some of those deaths can be?! God do you even know how many times I’ve…_ ” Kai’s gazed trailed downwards, focused on Adam’s stomach. He decided against finishing that last part.

“…B-but…now that I’ve finally told someone…I-I don’t have to worry for a bit right? Sure, you’ll forget next loop as if nothing happened! A new Adam! But this loop we can…we can just goof off without a care in the world and have fun! At least until the end!” Kai cheered, with a hopeful, twisted smile.

And he looked up, to see a leader with dark, despair-filled eyes. A horrified frown, and shaky hands that clutched tightly onto Kai’s wrists.

But that brief moment of vulnerability, something Kai had never seen in Adam before…it faded away in an instant. Adam was almost back to normal, albeit somewhat winded by the revelation…but there was something in their eyes. Something Kai recognized in himself at times. He couldn’t remember when he had seen it though.

“…So…there was _never_ a point in everything we’ve done?” Adam established. He almost sounded like he was begging Kai to just take it all back. “And…there’s no point in everything we’ll do from now on.”

Kai slowly nodded his head. He had a bad feeling. This felt too familiar. “Technically but…we can still have some fun before-“

“I-I…need some… _space_ to process all this.” Adam remarked, rubbing his temples and giving Kai a strained smile. “…you…go on ahead of me for a bit ok _? I’ll be fine! I just…need to think_.”

“…Yeah…ok...but hurry up alright? We don't have much time left to party.” Kai agreed, hesitantly jetting himself up with his fire powers and flying away.

…

_‘He couldn’t do this.’ Adam thought to himself, vigorously scratching his hair; eyes overflowing with tears._

Kai huffed as the wind blew against his face. Adam _would_ need a bit of…time to think about everything he was told. Well, Kai hadn’t even gotten started yet but figuring out you were in a loop probably took a lot out of you!

…But Kai was…so _disappointed_. He just wanted Adam to quickly process the situation so the two of them could fuck off to wherever and make some noise.

_…And hopefully Adam. Strong, confident, and understanding Adam could hold him and comfort him and let him screech and sob out his pain…_

…Regardless, he couldn’t stop thinking about that smile Adam gave him. It plagued his mind for the good 3 minutes of his flight. Where did he see thar before?! Seriously it was so annoying-

…

**He knows that smile.**

**That’s the same exact smile Kai fakes before he kills himself.**

…

Kai flashed down to the clearing he left Adam in, in a desperate frenzy he searched every inch and corner of his surroundings-

Until he saw the dangling body above, hanging from a tree.

_…Ah…_

Gustaf had told him this would be a mistake.

They were right for once.

Kai could only collapse on his knees and shriek in rage and grief. He screamed so much his throat began to burn.

He killed Adam. He actually killed Adam with words alone!

How fucking hilarious was that?!

_…Ha…!_

_…H-He was laughing his ass off now!_

**Fucking coward! Hadn’t even been through an eighth of what he’d been through and you already killed yourself!?**

**Pathetic!**

**_…PaThEtIc StUpId JeRk AdAm!_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What-up procrastination's been kicking me in the assssss-


	6. Jerk: Blanc

Another day, another dollar. Adam thanked his boss for the payment, and walked out of the family diner he worked at.

He counted the money, he worked around 4 hours after school, and earned 14.60 dollars an hour, the minimum wage in Vancouver. That equated to about…58.40 dollars in total. But that wasn’t counting tips…

Recounting the earned money in his hands, he concluded he had about…108.40 total. He was surprised by how popular he was at the diner. His highest tips were from the ladies…which were…eh, but he wasn’t going to complain considering what’s in his hands right now.

The extra money would all go to the family budget, as was agreed when Adam first proposed getting a job to his parents. They had been struggling for a while, and another mouth to feed was slowly going to put them in the red.

Needless to say, his parents were concerned. “Honey are you sure you’d be able to have enough energy to work after going to a 7-hour school?” His mother inquired.

But Adam was resolute. He had missed two years of his life, and he wanted to catch up fast. There’s so much he missed, so much he should’ve learned by now. It was almost embarrassing, being one of the few 18 years old in the Sophomore class.

Working gave him a purpose, something he desired more than anything. A reason to keep going, it was his drive, it was his will.

Before the Hollow, Adam could say with confidence that he had so much to live for. His friends, his family, his grades in school, The Hollow. There was so much.

Now though…Adam…didn’t know.

He doesn’t even want to think about the hollow anymore. It caused so much pain to him and his friends. Just looking at the logo made him anxious.

He was struggling with school because of his job, if he was being perfectly honest. He used to get As and Bs but now he has mostly Cs and that one, concerning D in history.

His family he was dedicated to, but they were mostly busy. Both of them had to work 8 hours a day just to get by. They refused to tell him how it got so bad but he knew. He had heard about it from the hollow scientists back when they all first escaped the game. They spent most of their time helping out in front of headquarters. Never going inside to check on him, they weren’t allowed to, but they helped with carrying boxes and checking on the electrical wires that kept the game running, and therefore kept all six of the teen’s bodies safe…specifically his.

The Hollow couldn’t pay their employees, let alone pay volunteers. The money they had saved up over the years was mostly drained by the time Adam came back.

As for his friends…Mira had issues of her own she would only divulge to Reeve, Kai, or her boyfriend Skeet. They didn’t chat as much. Reeve and him had made up, but Reeve was way more focused on Kai than on…literally anyone else. Skeet was…a guy he didn’t even know existed before the hollow. That and he was just as busy working as Adam was to take care of his sick mom. Same with Vanessa, Adam never met her before the hollow. That and she was literally a toddler mentally so…

And Kai…

Adam halted in front of a bridge he walked across every evening, and saw Kai sitting against the ledge, gazing at the sky’s warm sunset.

Almost as if he was some sort of psychic, Kai turned his head to Adam, and the smiled that wide, playful, and ominous smile they all had gotten used to.

Adam was… _absolutely fucking terrified of Kai._

And it wasn’t just because Kai broke his arm in the game…well…maybe it was partially the reason. Adam had super strength then for crying out loud. Kai was a force of nature Adam couldn’t even comprehend.

But it was the change that terrified Adam. The change in Kai. Long ago…or hell, not really long ago. It didn’t feel like long ago even if it was. Long ago, Adam remembered the old Kai. An absolute dork. An awkward 8th grader that ran his mouth at the wrong times. Kai had a charm however…and he was really good at playing the hollow, so Adam easily picked him as Reeve’s replacement.

That Kai vanished in a fucking instant. Now there was just this shell of a person. Yes, Kai was getting better. Yes, Kai’s smiles were beginning to lessen in insanity. Yes, Kai was starting to act…perhaps something akin to his old self again. But the damage was done. Kai physically looked like he’d gone to hell and back a thousand times over. His skin was paler, his hair was even messier than before, and his eyes…were just… _blank._ _They had seen too much._

 _What terrified Adam was that he didn’t understand it. He didn't understand Kai._ He didn’t understand how Kai went from point A to point B, and the stories Reeve would tell him occasionally did not make him feel better. Then he just felt _pity. Pity_ for this poor boy…and also guilt because if he… _if he hadn’t recruited them, they wouldn’t have…_

“…You’re floundering, aren’t you?”

It was an accusation Adam didn’t expect from the red-head. They stared into his soul, almost reading his worries. Adam felt exposed, and bare to the world in that moment.

That was another thing that scared Adam when it came to Kai. They were so familiar with his deepest darkest feelings. And he…didn’t know how.

“…You need a purpose to stay alive…that’s why you’d kill yourself half of the times I told you, right?” Kai suggested, and Adam nearly choked. H-he…he…?

_…Oh Kai…god…_

Kai giggled, and turned to stare once more at the sinking sun. “You have that look in your eyes sometimes…a look that’s similar to what I’d see before you’d wander off and slice your wrists in a bathtub or something…any kind of death if it meant peace. A purpose, a goal to focus on keeps your mind off your own troubles. If you have other things to worry about you don’t have to confront your pain.” The smile was gone, and their eyes glared at Adam’s guilt-ridden expression. “I won’t forgive you if you lose the battle. Especially considering we’re in a paradise now.”

…Adam slowly walked next to Kai, and leaned against the bridge fence. He gulped, and clutching the money in his hand, he corrected Kai’s comment. “…This isn’t a paradise Kai. This is…far from it.” There was still suffering here. The news displayed the same old train wrecks and kidnappings. Murders and gang rapes. This place was far from heaven.

“…Of course you’d say that. _You don’t remember_.” Kai dismissed Adam’s opinion without so much as an eye blink. Adam sighed. Kai’s mind was so foreign to him now that he just…didn’t know what to say.

“…Your mind wouldn’t have survived more than a few loops if you had become like me, Mira and Reeve.” Kai stated, almost as a fact. Adam bit his lip, wondering where to god Kai was going with this. “…Why do you think that?” He pressed further.

“Because you’re weak and fragile.” Kai muttered his answer, and closed his eyes, almost falling asleep to the rushing water below the bridge. “Weak and fragile, kind of like me.”

…

For a few minutes, no words were spoken.

“…Don’t tell Reeve I was here. He’d throw a conniption fit if he found out I sneaked out of his watchful eye.” Kai let out a soft giggle, and stuck out a playful tongue at the thought. “He doesn’t trust me yet.”

“…Yeah, no problem.” Adam answered a somber smile on his face.

…He wasn’t as afraid of Kai anymore.

If anything, there was a part of Kai that Adam related to now.


End file.
